Best and Worst Store-Bought Cream Style Corn

Corn is one of the Mother Nature’s miracle foods. Just consider all the gifts corn has given us: corn chips, corn syrup, Corn Flakes, corn dogs and ethanol. And let’s not forget the overlooked glory that is cream style corn.

Cream style corn was my favourite vegetable as a child. Actually, it was the only vegetable I ate, because a) it was sweet, and b) the corn kernels were already mushed up which meant minimal chewing. Yes, I was a lazy kid. Cream style corn also seemed like the more glamorous cousin to regular canned corn. It could turn a regular Sunday dinner into a episode of Dynasty.

I haven’t given cream style corn much thought in my adult years and thought it was time to revisit the beloved yellow sludge of my youth. Fun fact: Despite its name, canned cream style corn isn’t made with cream. The kernels are scraped off and then the stripped shaft is milked. I’ll just leave that there.

I bought 8 brands of cream style corn to determine the best and worst. I wanted a cream style corn that wasn’t too runny, not too sweet, and had a good ratio of firm kernels to smashed bits.

Which brand buttered my cob and which brand did I tell to get the shuck outta here? Here are my rankings, worst to best.

8) Life Smart $1.49

I’m assuming this no-salt version is an attempt to make cream style corn healthier. Although, if I was that concerned about my health, I wouldn’t be eating 8 cans of cream style corn in the first place. I just hoped this brand lived up to its name and made me smarter in life.

Tasting notes: The colour had a grey undertone which I took as a bad omen. This tasted terrible, like eating corn in water. Who knew that a little salt could go such a long way? That said, I can now confirm that 2 + 2 = 4.

Verdict: Not a smart decision.

7) PC Blue Menu $1.50

Given my experience with Life Smart, I didn’t have high hopes for this salt-free version either. Although I appreciated there were no synthetic colours as the label stated. I only wear synthetic, never eat it.

Tasting notes: This tasted like canned despair. Look, at my age, I’ll take my chances with sodium. The only way I could finish was by sprinkling it with salt. Which defeats the purpose.

Verdict: Left me blue.

6) Selection $1.49

Selection is Metro’s house brand. I thought the label design was attractive. While we’re on the topic, why is cream style hyphenated on some labels, but not on others? Grammar police, can you set the record straight?

Tasting notes: This one had a goopy texture and reminded me of the flour and water paste we used to make in school. Often, that was my only lunch as a child; the seventies were a tough decade. Selection had a weird taste. I wouldn’t say “dusty,” but there was something going on in my mouth that I didn’t like.

Verdict: Not making this selection again.

5) Compliments $1.99

Compliments is Sobey’s house brand. I thought they had the most unique packaging and appreciated their attempt to stand apart in the world of cream style corn. Which, when I consider it, isn’t all that hard. The spoon is kind of weird, though. I think there’s some kind of demonic symbol in the corn. Whatever you do, don’t turn your phone upside down and look at it.

Tasting notes: There were some nice, full-sized kernels in the mix, but what Compliments gained in texture it lost in taste. This brand was bland, bland, bland. It was a good reminder that, sometimes, the label is more interesting than the contents. This also applies to people.

Verdict: No compliments.

4) Del Monte $3.49

Del Monte is one of the better-known brands when it comes to canned vegetables and fruit. My mom used to pour JELL-O into a drained can of Del Monte pineapple rings, chill until it set, and then slice through so that each golden ring was enrobed in quivering red gelatin. Now you see why I’m such a bon vivant.

Tasting notes: This was thicker and more gelatinous than some of the other brands. The overall texture was okay, but I found the experience uninspiring. Del Monte was missing something and that something was flavour.

Verdict: Dull Monte

3) No Name $1.29

For once, the No Name label worked in its favour. After all, nothing says corn more than a neon yellow can. I also liked the “simple” bubble. It felt like they were speaking directly to me.

Tasting notes: No Name had the least amount of corn chunks compared to the others. It was also soupier. That said, the overall flavour was robust, although there was a slight vinegary note. Toss in more corn and No Name might’ve been in the running.

Verdict: Almost made a name for itself.

2) Great Value $1.27

Wal-Mart’s house brand has surprised me in the past. Specifically, how Great Value performed in my Boxed Macaroni and Cheese Taste Test. That said, generic brands can be hit or miss.

Tasting notes: Great Value had a nice creaminess and a good balance of corn chunks. It was better than I thought it would be. Which leaves me wondering – are some generic brands really that good, or are our expectations so low, it makes them seem better than they actually are?

Verdict: Low expectations mean less disappointment. This also applies to people.

1) Green Giant, $1.77

Green Giant is the brand most people associate with canned vegetables. Its towering green mascot is so iconic, it’s impossible for me to wear my toga made of leaves and not think of cubed carrots. But was GG big on taste? (Given its placement, I’ve pretty much answered that.)

Tasting notes: Green Giant was the chunkiest brand compared to the others. In fact, it was downright chock-full o’ corn! In terms of taste, it had a nice balance of sweetness, good overall corn flavour and great texture. I had to chew, but not a lot. My seven-year-old self would approve.

Verdict: Amaizing

If you’re not already corned out, here’s a recipe that features cream style corn as an ingredient. It hails from my copy of “The Best of Enbridge,” which has provided me with countless culinary joys over the years including Meatless Special K Roast and Popcorn Salad.

This Delicious Corn Bake recipe calls for just 4 ingredients. Best of all, you don’t boil the macaroni. It cooks in the corn water! How efficient is that? I can confirm the recipe lives up to the name. It’s delicious. Like gourmet mac and cheese. Only cornier.

Genevieve from Estevan, Saskatchewan, thank you for spreading the creamy corn love!

And thank YOU, dear reader, for joining me on this important journey. If you’re ever passing a corn field and see a middle-aged man in a leaf toga, be sure to wave hello to me.