Recently, the news that Neilson discontinued its Jersey Milk bar rattled chocolate lovers everywhere. Well, at least here in Canada. A national icon alongside Mitsou, ketchup chips and the giant papier mâché apple in Colborne, Ontario, Jersey Milk was known for its wholesome chocolate goodness.

I had to wonder: What other bars might soon be on the choco chopping block? It was time to revisit Canadian chocolate bars before any others melted into obscurity. I rounded up 13 different kinds to determine the nation’s best – and worst.

I was looking for a chocolate bar that offered depth, texture and good value for my loonie. Or, rather, three loonies. Inflation is the worst.

Which Canadian chocolate bar scored a golden ticket – and which left me still looking for Mr. Goodbar?

Here are my rankings, worst to best.

13. Big Turk

First introduced in 1974 by the Kitchener, Ontario-based Smiles n’ Chuckles company, Big Turk boasts a ruby-red Turkish delight interior covered in a thin coating of milk chocolate. In the chocolate bar landscape, Big Turk stands on its own in terms of its uniqueness. That’s including its curvy shape. But how does it taste?

Tasting notes: No good came from chocolate-covered gel. Honestly, Big Turk was so off-putting, I almost didn’t finish it. That’s saying a lot. To make matters worse, Big Turk got stuck to my teeth, so I spent the rest of my day working little bits of gel loose. It’s the chocolate bar that won’t let you escape.

Verdict: No delight.

12. Eat-More

Created in the early 1900s by the Lowney Company, Eat-More is a bendable, stretchable bar consisting of chopped peanuts, dark toffee and unsweetened chocolate. It was promoted as “a real long chew,” but is that much of a selling point?

An Eat-More chocolate bar with no wrapper.

Tasting notes: Eat-More tastes like a candy bar you’d make during the Depression using oats, tar and tree sap. Let’s talk about that real long chew. It was a full 32 minutes before I could even swallow. The only redeeming thing about Eat-More is that, because of its pliability, you can use it like plasticine or to patch holes in drywall.

Verdict: Eat-None

11. Cherry Blossom

Adored by Great Aunt Eleanors coast to coast, Lowry’s Cherry Blossom is a maraschino cherry entombed in a sarcophagus of chocolate, shredded coconut and roasted peanuts. As a kid, the main appeal was the box. I used it to store practical things, like buttons and teeth. Technically not a chocolate bar, Cherry Blossoms were discontinued in early 2025, which would explain the dust covering the box at my local convenience store.

An unwrapped Cherry Blossom cut in half.

Tasting notes: It’s not that the Cherry Blossom was bad, and there’s a substantial layer of chocolate to bite through, but overall, this blossom was too sweet. Once you hit that centre cherry, a geyser of liquid sugar explodes, causing your eyes to roll back in your head – and not in a good way.

Verdict: The box is still the best part.

10. Pal-o-Mine

I came across this at Bulk Barn. It’s considered one of the oldest packaged chocolate bars in North America, consisting of brown sugar fudge and chopped peanuts covered in dark chocolate. Pal-o-Mine is divided in two pieces for sharing. I don’t know what kind of sick person shares their chocolate bars.

A pair of Pal-o-Mine chocolate bars, one of which is cut in half.

Tasting notes: If you think chocolate-covered fudge sounds overly sweet, it is. In fact, I lost three teeth eating Pal-o-Mine. (Thankfully, I have that Cherry Blossom box to store them in.) And where were the supposed peanuts? I couldn’t find any nuts to save my life. Which is a familiar feeling for me.

Verdict: Not a pal-o-your-teeth.

9. Crispy Crunch

Developed in 1930 by Harold Oswin, a Neilson candy roller, Crispy Crunch has been a Canadian classic ever since. I loved Crispy Crunch as a kid. I did notice a change in the packaging, however. What happened to those carboard sleeves chocolate bars used to come in?

A Crispy Crunch chocolate bar, cut in half.

Tasting notes: The main appeal of a Crispy Crunch is its flaky, peanut butter interior. I don’t know if the recipe has changed or if I got a stale bar but instead of flaky, my bar was dense, hard and sticky. I wondered what other childhood idols would come crashing down next.

Verdict: Crappy Crunch

8. Mr. Big

First introduced in 1979, Mr. Big was all about quantity with the tagline, “When you’re this big, they call you mister.” Mr. Big boasts vanilla wafers, caramel, peanuts and rice crisps. But I’m certain Mr. Big has shrunk over the years. For evidence, here’s a photo of me as a child about to tear one open.

A pair of small hands resting on top of a Mr. Big chocolate bar. — Exhibit A

Tasting notes: As a kid, I felt like I was getting more bang for my allowance bucks with Mr. Big, but I’m an adult now with more refined tastes. And Mr. Big came up short. I think those wafers are more for filler, it was too sweet, and size will only hold your interest for so long.

Verdict: The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

7. Aero

I wasn’t sure if this was considered a Canadian bar, since Aero first appeared in 1935 in the North of England. But there are many British things that Canadians embrace as their own, like Red Rose tea figurines, Coronation Street and Fergie. Aero is known for its bubbly texture that collapses as you eat it.

Tasting notes: It’s not that Aero isn’t an enjoyable experience, but why add air bubbles to something when you could have more chocolate take up that space? It’s like hollow Easter bunnies. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Verdict: Cupid’s aero didn’t strike.

6. Coffee Crisp

I have conflicted feelings about Coffee Crisp. As a kid, it was usually the last chocolate bar left in my pillowcase at Halloween. I never liked the taste, but maybe I wasn’t the target audience. Now that I’m a caffeine-addicted adult, would my impressions change?

A Coffee Crisp chocolate bar, cut in half.

Tasting notes: The wafer layers had a good crispiness, paired with the coffee-flavoured cream. And it had a nice snap, living up to its name. But I’m going on record to say that you’re either a Coffee Crisp person or you’re not. There is no in-between. Unless it’s the last chocolate bar in your pillowcase.

Verdict: A double-double dilemma.

5. Caramilk

Introduced in 1968, Caramilk is filled with – you guessed it – caramel. An ongoing advertising campaign posed the question: How did the caramel get inside? But was it that much of a mystery? Clearly, they had an assembly line of fairies who injected the caramel using hummingbird beaks. Am I the only one who knew this?

Tasting notes: Caramilk is a good chocolate bar. But it reminded me of taking piano lessons as a kid: Banging on one note does not a song make. And by one note, I mean sweet. Sure, the idea of caramel oozing out of those pockets is alluring (although it leaks more than oozes), but ultimately, Caramilk didn’t tickle my ivories.

Verdict: Don’t send the fairies after me.

4. Crunchie

A chocolate-coated sponge toffee bar, Crunchie is one of my adult staples. I think it’s lower in calories than most, so I feel less guilty. In the U.K., sponge toffee is referred to as honeycomb, which sounds more appetizing, mainly because of the absence of the word “sponge.”

Tasting notes: What I like about Crunchie, aside from its crunchiness, is that it’s more than just sweet. The sponge toffee adds a burnt sugar depth and provides more nuance and complexity than your average chocolate bar. The downside? Like Big Turk, Crunchie sticks to your teeth.

Verdict: Tastes better than a sponge.

3. Jersey Milk

The inspiration for my taste test! I searched everywhere for a Jersey Milk but couldn’t find one. I had almost given up hope when I went to a variety store in my neighbourhood. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a box with three bars. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for these?” I exclaimed to the store owner. (Based on her reaction, she didn’t. Nor did she care.) It was only when I got home that I realized all three bars were well beyond their expiration dates. But I didn’t care. I’m past my best-before date, too.

Tasting notes: The nice thing about a Jersey Milk is its creamy simplicity. It’s not jumping out, demanding attention (which could be why it got discontinued), but simply says, “Here I am. A classic chocolate bar. That is six months past my best-before date. Eat me if you feel I’m worth risking diarrhea.”

Verdict: Jersey, you will be missed. (Also, I have two expired chocolate bars available to the highest bidder.)

2. Oh Henry

I didn’t know this, but Oh Henry originated in the States and is still sold there under the name Rally. (Personally, I think Oh Henry is a better name.) In terms of that name, there are numerous theories about its origins, but all you need to know is that Oh Henry’s true claim to fame is its fudge tube rolled in caramel and nuts.

Tasting notes: In the world of chocolate bars, Oh Henry has a lot going for it. There’s a good mixture of salt to sweet, a nice balance of crunchy peanuts to creamy caramel, and it didn’t disappoint. I felt like I got a lot of mouth experience for my money.

Verdict: Oh yeah.

1. Wunderbar

Not to be confused with Wonderbra, Wunderbar launched in Canada and Germany in 1976. A combination of caramel and peanut butter, Wunderbar was also the name of a queer bar in Syracuse, New York. Somehow, it feels like my life has come full circle.

Tasting notes: Wunderbar packs the best of both worlds. You get salty peanut butter wrapped in sweet caramel wrapped in chocolate. There’s also some crunch to contrast the creaminess. I felt like I went to an all-inclusive resort and sampled everything on the buffet.

Verdict: Wunderful

And there you have it! Do you agree with my rankings? Did I leave out your favourite Canadian chocolate bar? Leave a comment and let the country know.

Speaking of discontinued chocolate bars, let’s take a moment to remember the Sweet Marie chocolate bar. She was put out to pasture in 2013, but her legacy lives on. I found this recipe for Sweet Marie Bars in my collection of community cookbooks. And before you ask, no, that’s not my penmanship on the page. I only wish I wrote that neatly.

A recipe page from a community cookbook with the recipe for Sweet Marie Bars.

These bars are delicious. Obviously, Mrs. Doris Todd knew her way around a kitchen. As to whether they taste like a Sweet Marie bar, I have no idea. I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, let alone a chocolate bar that disappeared 12 years ago. I did roast my nuts, though, and added a sprinkling of sea salt. I think Doris would approve.

A stack of Sweet Marie bars. A small pair of hands is grabbing one of the bars.

Thanks for reading! Get out there and grab those Canadian chocolate bars while you can.