Brian Francis

Author/Eater

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Caker Christmas 2019

December 22, 2019 by Brian Francis in Food

I can’t think of a better way to send off the decade than with a hot, steaming casserole. So I was happy to host my annual Caker Christmas party the other night. “Caker,” for those unaware, is short form for “mangiacake,” a term Italians give some of the more questionable aspects of Anglo-Saxon cuisine.

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December 22, 2019 /Brian Francis
Food
6 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama Week 4

December 01, 2019 by Brian Francis in Crafts

Well, I’ve put on 12 pounds worth of Mars Bars Slices and Peanut Butter Porcupines – and just in time for the holiday season! That can only mean one thing. Bazaar-o-Rama is coming to a close for another year.

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December 01, 2019 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
Crafts
2 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama Week 3

November 24, 2019 by Brian Francis in Crafts

Another week, another round-up of church bazaar treasures! What did I find this past Saturday on my travels? Read on, dear reader.

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November 24, 2019 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
Crafts
8 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama Week 2

November 17, 2019 by Brian Francis in Crafts

It’s been another exciting bazaar adventure of shopping, eating and making new senior friends. Here’s what I scored this week. 

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November 17, 2019 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
Crafts
2 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama Week 1

November 10, 2019 by Brian Francis in Crafts

I’ve put on five pounds worth of leftover Tootsie Rolls and it’s dark by 2pm. That can only mean it’s November and time for Bazaar-o-Rama, my annual tour of holiday church bazaars. You know, I’ve been doing Bazaar-o-Rama since 2012. Why, you ask? Well, I’m cheap.

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November 10, 2019 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
Crafts
6 Comments

Best and Worst Pasta Sauce

November 04, 2019 by Brian Francis in Taste Tests

I’ve been partnered with an Italian for over 23 years. And in those 23 years, I’ve learned there are some things that Italians hold sacred: a clean house, designer sunglasses and disco singing sensation, Raffaella Carrà.

Another sacred thing? Tomato sauce.

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November 04, 2019 /Brian Francis
Food
Taste Tests
18 Comments

Thanksgiving Perky Turkey Cut-Up Cake

October 09, 2019 by Brian Francis in Food

My mission to single-handedly revive the lost art of cut-up cakes continues. Cut-up cakes are like jigsaw puzzles. Only tastier. To date, I’ve made an airplane, a Santa, a witch and a daisy. A mission like this takes commitment, tenacity and shredded coconut. Lots and lots of coconut.

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October 09, 2019 /Brian Francis
Recipes
Food
Comment

Best and Worst Granny Candy

August 07, 2019 by Brian Francis in Taste Tests

You can count on grannies for a number of things. Showing you how to do the mashed potato dance, for one. Or keeping Glade Plug-In Air Fresheners in business. Or using “dilly-dally,” “horse-feathers” and “nincompoop” in a single sentence. Another thing you can count on is a granny’s candy stash.

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August 07, 2019 /Brian Francis
Food
Taste Tests
6 Comments

Daisy Cut-Up Cake

July 03, 2019 by Brian Francis in Food

Some time ago, I was on CBC Radio’s The Next Chapter, predicting that cut-up party cakes were due for a huge comeback. Cut-up cakes, for anyone born past 1980, were popular in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Basically, you take a cake, cut it up into different pieces and assemble those pieces to create something new. Like a turkey. Doesn’t that sound appetizing?

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July 03, 2019 /Brian Francis
Recipes
Food
Comment

Dollar Store Chocolate Bar Taste Test

March 31, 2019 by Brian Francis in Taste Tests

Who isn’t trying to cut corners these days? But should the line be drawn with chocolate? I picked up six brand name chocolate bars and paired them against their dollar store equivalents. I conducted a blind taste test and enlisted the services of a second taste tester, so you’ll get more than just my opinion. Even though mine is the most important. Obviously. So how did the dollar store bars stack up?

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March 31, 2019 /Brian Francis
Food
Taste Tests
22 Comments

Best and Worst Snack Crackers

March 17, 2019 by Brian Francis in Food

Let’s face it – snack crackers don’t always get the recognition they deserve. Think about all the times snack crackers have been there for you. While you’re microwaving your dinner. When you come home after too many wine spritzers. When you need to preoccupy your mouth during awkward office parties.

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March 17, 2019 /Brian Francis
Taste Tests
Food
2 Comments

My Gingerbread House Obsession

January 02, 2019 by Brian Francis in Food, Crafts

Every Christmas, I take on an ambitious baking project. I tell myself I enjoy doing it, but, by the end of the project, I always wonder if I have some sadomasochist need. This year, I decided to make a gingerbread house.

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January 02, 2019 /Brian Francis
Food, Crafts
6 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama 2018 Week 4

November 25, 2018 by Brian Francis

Well, here it is. The final week of Bazaar-o-Rama 2018. Pass me a tissue, will you? My only comforts are the treasures I found this past weekend.

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November 25, 2018 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
6 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama 2018 Week 3

November 18, 2018 by Brian Francis

We’re knee-deep in bazaar season. What did I score on my third weekend out? The only way you’ll find out is to scroll, my friends. Scroll and be amazed.

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November 18, 2018 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
2 Comments

Bazaar-o-Rama 2018 Week 2

November 11, 2018 by Brian Francis

I’m back with another exciting round-up. What did I find this week at my church bazaar travels? Check out my loot!

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November 11, 2018 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
Comment

Bazaar-o-Rama 2018 Week 1

November 04, 2018 by Brian Francis

Bazaar-o-Rama is back for another titillating edition! Every November, I scour church Christmas bazaars in search of the weird and wonderful and share all my treasures with you, dear reader. I’ll update this post every Monday throughout the month. Come along for a bazaar journey. Or is that “bizarre?”

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November 04, 2018 /Brian Francis
Bazaars
2 Comments

Witch Cut-Up Cake

October 31, 2018 by Brian Francis in Recipes, Crafts

A couple of years ago, I was on CBC Radio’s The Next Chapter, talking about what I thought would be the new book trends. Cut-up party cakes was one of them. Apparently, the rest of the world still needs to catch on. Maybe people think turning a cake into an airplane is intimidating. But believe me, if I can do it, so can you. 

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October 31, 2018 /Brian Francis
Food
Recipes, Crafts
Comment

Best and Worst American Chocolate Bars

July 22, 2018 by Brian Francis in Taste Tests

Recently I went to New York City and learned a few things. When riding in a taxi, never look out the windshield to see what the driver is doing. Instead, just look out the passenger window and think of puppies and daffodils.

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July 22, 2018 /Brian Francis
Food
Taste Tests
6 Comments

Valentine's Day Heart Cookies

February 11, 2018 by Brian Francis in Life

Ever since I received a cookie letter press a couple of Christmases ago, I’ve been a bit obsessed with inscribing inspirational messages on cookies. See my Fuck Cookies as an example. I like putting messages on cookies because a) you truly get to eat your emotions and b) it’s good spelling praktice.

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February 11, 2018 /Brian Francis
Food
Life
2 Comments

Caker Christmas 2017

December 17, 2017 by Brian Francis in Food

I recently hosted my annual Caker Christmas potluck party. I ask Italians to make Anglo Saxon dishes like casseroles and things saturated with Cool Whip. As you can imagine, it’s a real rollercoaster of tastes.

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December 17, 2017 /Brian Francis
Recipes
Food
9 Comments
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