It’s not autumn until you’re unwedging your front teeth from a candy apple, dodging drunk wasps, and wearing your new parka when it’s 28 degrees outside.

Summer is many things for me: Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil, thongs, roller skates, and boardwalks. (In that order.). But summer is also about food. And nothing says summer to me like a good helping of macaroni salad on a soggy paper plate.

Being married to an Italian means I’ve been exposed to different Italian holiday traditions over the years. Like eating fish on Christmas Eve, wearing red underwear on New Year’s Day for good luck and, unfortunately, Limoncello.

For most people, elementary school was a time of learning, exploration, and growth. For me, it was about the joy of finding a cellophane-wrapped Twinkie in my lunch box. Or a Hostess Cupcake. Or a Wagon Wheel.

For better or worse, eggnog is a divisive holiday beverage. (Even more divisive than Coffee Mate’s Frosted Gingerbread.) Hate it or love it, there’s no middle ground. But what turns people off eggnog?

Sugar cereals have always had a bad rap. But I think it’s undeserved. Often, a heaping bowl of sugar, corn syrup and high monounsaturated canola oil is the best way to start your day.

I’ve been partnered with an Italian for over 23 years. And in those 23 years, I’ve learned there are some things that Italians hold sacred: a clean house, designer sunglasses and disco singing sensation, Raffaella Carrà.

You can count on grannies for a number of things. Showing you how to do the mashed potato dance, for one. Or keeping Glade Plug-In Air Fresheners in business. Or using “dilly-dally,” “horse-feathers” and “nincompoop” in a single sentence.

Who isn’t trying to cut corners these days? But should the line be drawn with chocolate? I picked up six brand name chocolate bars and paired them against their dollar store equivalents.