Recently, I was on CBC Radio’s The Next Chapter, talking with host Shelagh Rogers about something that never goes out of style. No, I’m not talking Golden Girls reruns. I’m talking manners.
Ever since I received a cookie letter press a couple of Christmases ago, I’ve been a bit obsessed with inscribing inspirational messages on cookies. See my Fuck Cookies as an example. I like putting messages on cookies because a) you truly get to eat your emotions and b) it’s good spelling praktice.Read More
I was at the Pride parade the other day and was reminded of my own coming out journey and how I sometimes remember it and sometimes I forget. I’m posting this letter so I don’t forget.
When I was 22, I wrote a coming out letter to my university roommates. At the time, it was the scariest thing I’d ever done. I’d been living a double life, the stress was weighing me down and I needed to come clean. I just had no idea how they’d react.Read More
Have you ever said goodnight to your pantyhose? Or thanked your mock turtleneck? Ever tangoed with your bathrobe? If yes, chances are you’re either lonely or you’ve read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. She believes that possessions have feelings.Read More
Saturday mornings throughout November, I roll out of bed early, put on my Tilley hat, fire up the Chevette and head out to Christmas bazaars. If you’ve never been to a bazaar, you’re missing out on one of life’s richest experiences. Bazaars are free, you can find great deals, and, if you’re under 50, you’ll feel like the youngest person there.
Every couple of years, I go in search of a new lunch bag. It’s a horrific, painful and depressing journey. I don’t want polka dots or stripes or superheroes or anything that I’d be embarrassed to carry while reading my V.C. Andrews novels on the subway. All I want is a masculine lunch bag. And if you think that seems like a pretty simple request, have I got news for you, folks.Read More
I know that my readers have been wondering, “What happened to that 1922 Sarnia cookbook adventure Brian started?” I admit I haven’t been as regular recently what with making wedding fruitcake and stealing my mom’s china.Read More
If you’ve seen male homosexuals with low standards and lonely ladies with no sense of gaydar walking around crying, here's the reason: I recently got married. Yep, it’s true. I finally found someone to love me for the person I’m pretending to be.Read More
If you’re like me and living the glamourous life of a Canadian fiction author, you’ve probably been invited to a book club or two. While I always appreciate the request, book club visits can sometimes be weird experiencesRead More
Not sure what traditions you have around the holidays, but I like to send out packages of holiday baking to friends and relatives. Often, I include a note for that personalized touch. If you're thinking about doing the same, here are some suggested notes you can include in your packages that are sure to spread the holiday cheer.Read More
When my mom’s Aunt Mae died in 1984, we inherited some of her belongings, one of which was a handwritten short story. The story, I was told, had been written by Mae’s only child, Barbara, who had died in 1956 when she was 20 years old.Read More
I smoked for about 20 years or so. I spent most of my thirties trying to quit, but failed miserably. I’d manage to go for a month or two before some stressful situation presented itself (mostly manufactured by my own imagination) and the only thing that could help me through was smoking.Read More
There were many things I didn’t know at 23. In particular, that anytime you read the words “earn upwards of” in a job ad, you shouldn’t apply. Unless, of course, you’re poor. Which I was. And you’re a directionless university grad. Which I was. And you believe there’s a certain romance in the solitary life of a travelling salesman. Which, unfortunately, I did.Read More
I called my mother the other night. She told me to hold on while she grabbed her list. She does this sometimes because, at 80, she has a tendency to forget the important things she wants to tell me. The first item on her list was that she was planning to purchase a feather mattress topper.Read More
Brian Francis is the author of the novels Natural Order and Fruit. Creative writing tips, advice for writers and personal essays.
© Copyright 2019 Brian Francis